When Changes for the Better Still Don't Work

I'm such a goob! I tried to comment on another person's page, so I thought, and I commented on my own page. I do good to check email, much less, have my own blog page!! So if you check under "comments" on one of them and it shows message has been deleted by blog owner... I was trying to take off where I commented to someone else on my page. I know... but it's late...
Well now to what's on my heart. Some of you reading this, if anyone is reading, may have already talked to me today and listened to me spill my guts about what is on my mind. Funny that I chose to type in red... I went to the doctor the other day for a follow up visit to get my blood gluclose levels checked. When I first went in May, levels were high. Doctor said get on a diabetic diet, walk everyday (whatever), eat fruit, and lose what I can by August. Thank you very much. She was nicer than that, but you get the point. Well, that day, May 1, I made a drastic change. Adios carbohydrates! So long sodas. Hello greens and wheat. I knew I had to do this or I could really be bad off at a young age. My dad was in his 30's when he developed diabetes, and suddenly I was seeing my future play out like his and I didn't want that to happen.
Long story short, I really tried hard, except for the excercise part. That was tough. I would do some excercises, but not the "30 min. walk" that I knew the doctor was talking about. On the eating part, I made a lot of changes. Even my family is eating healthier. We're also saving money, because we're not eating out as often. I've grown closer to God during this time, because I will now pray or read the Bible instead of eat. When I'm bored, I'll read a scripture and try to memorize it, instead of eating bowl of chips and watching Montel. I have prayed for God to give me a new desire, a healthy one, for food, and I believe He has. I am a lot more patient with my children (and usually my hubby :) ) because I'm spending more time in prayer and in His word. In almost 3 months, I've lost 17 1/2 lbs! I was so excited--on cloud 9! The doctor even said I could get off my blood pressure med. if I lost 10 more lbs. I was feeling H-O-T yesterday! Well, today, I got "the call" from the doctor's office. After doing everything I've done, my sugar levels were UP by 10 points! Now I have to go back to see them again and talk with someone about managing my diabetes with diet--since I obviously couldn't do it alone. I surely can say it's not for the lack of trying. I mustered up everything I could not to cry on the phone. Then I just cried a river--I think I needed Noah's boat. I know it's not the end of the world. I know there are worse things. My dad had diabetes and cancer. I saw him go through those, and now he's with the Lord. I know how thankful I am. I was just really having me one really big pity party! Every time I thought about it, I would cry. "Lord, I don't understand, all this work... I've tried so hard... I've lost weight like I had to. I'm eating better-why aren't I any better? why?" Then I picked up my already opened Bible. Before I turned the page, I prayed and asked the Lord to show me where he needed me to read from. I looked down, and these beautiful words were on the page, speaking and ministering to me:Ps.61:1-5 "Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of you wings. For you have heard my vows, O God." Is that not mighty? As I read that, I began to cry some more. It was like a perfect prayer that God had given me right there in his Word.
I don't know what's gonna happen with all this blood sugar and diabetes stuff. On my part, I know what I have to do, but the rest is up to the Lord.

Belly Fat and Saggy Boobs

I recently read Barbie Bassett's blog commenting where some TV viewers had emailed in about her still looking pregnant after just having her baby. Barbie said that the viewers wanted to why everything looked so good except for her belly fat and her "sagging bosoms." In the blog she defended that she had just had a baby only 15 weeks prior and that she was on a strict diet/exercise program. She claimed that she had lost 12 lbs. and had 30 more to reach her goal weight to be at pre-pregnancy size (I wish!!) She then promised that with a little patience from viewers, she would be down to her HS size. She continued to say that she had spent much time crying over these hurtful emails. How rude and hurtful some of the comments were. I just can't believe some of the thing that people would say--and we wonder why teenagers are throwing up their food so they can fit in!
Of course, there were many people that commented with their support. My mom always taught me "pretty is, as pretty does". That is what matters. God looks at what is in the heart. In my own way, I try to teach that to my middle school students. I have battled with weight nearly all of my life. I have an 8 yr. old and 2 yr. old. It has taken two years to get off the baby weight from having Addison. I think back to being teased when I was young, and it still hurts. Even today, I am often teased by students. I've sometimes cried the whole drive home because of things they've said about me and my weight. That saying, "Stick and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me"-- How untrue of a saying that is. As I read Barbie's blog & all the wonderful comments (I even commented myself), I thought, "Have I ever said or done anything to hurt anyone not meaning to? " Of course, you know the answer to that... God spoke to me and reminded me that we must be careful of what we say, for we do all have feelings. You know the saying, "If you don't have anything nice to say..."
I do not even know if anyone will even read this. It was just on my heart after reading the blog and I couldn't sleep (notice the time...) . You know, I'm so glad that God loves me and He made me, big hips, big boobs, and all!

My Family at Robbie's Wedding

This is my "little" (and only) brother, Robbie. He got married a month ago to a sweet girl named Tabatha. Pray for them. She's a new Christian, and he's recently rededicated his life to the Lord. They are trying. I just loved this picture.

This is me and Robbie with our parents. Mama (nicely) told me that shirt didn't do anything for my figure. I should have listened to her. I look like a cow. Now I need to buy something else... :)